


Principal Starlight Glimmer

by MorenoX25



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, South Park
Genre: Gen, Humor, One Shot, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 04:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8149430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorenoX25/pseuds/MorenoX25
Summary: After an incident involving a student using an inappropriate term, Miss Cheerlee is fired from her position at the school house. So the School Board decided to appoint a new Principal. Starlight Glimmer is coming to Ponyville and with her she brings lots of "progressive" ideas.





	

Today there was another assembly at the Town Hall, where every assembly was held no matter the scale or reason. The place was always available for use by the general public, despite being a government building. But today the ponies of Ponyville weren't gathered to discuss the loose policies regarding Town Hall. No, today the assembly was held because of a more urgent situation.

There were a lot of ponies gathered, although not all of Ponyville was in assistance. This meeting had called those whose today's subject matter affected the most: the school ponies and their parents; and several other adults too. With so many fillies and colts gathered up in one place, it was no wonder why Mayor Mare was having trouble getting anyone's attention.

"Alright parents and students, please take your seats." The mature mare pleaded unto the microphone on the podium but her voice was drowned down by the noise of the children and their parents alike. "Please parents, this is important." She tried again but she obtained the same results as before. It took a couple of more tries before Mayor Mare finally lost patience and shouted above them all. "WOULD YOU LISTEN UP!"

Thankfully that was enough to silence everyone on town hall so they could all take their seats.

"Thank you." The mayor said, happy now that there was silence and order. "Now, I know that you all are wondering why I called for this assembly. Well as you all are aware; there was an incident at the school house last week; with a school pony referring to a non-consensual act as a 'Hot Tirek'."

Instantly the crowded hall fell into murmurs and laughter alike. But the next bit of news was surely to silence any laughter. "Listen, listen! Miss Cheerilee has been fired!"Once again, murmurs ran rampant between the crowd, with parents and students alike shocked by the terrible news.

"The School Board has decided to appoint a new teacher and Principal for the school house to try and make it, alongside Ponyville, into a more... progressive place that... fits in with today's times." Personally, Mayor Mare was thrilled by the news either. She had known Cheerilee for a long time and knew that nopony loved teaching foals like the School mare, but the decision was made by the Board, and even she couldn't fight to have it revoke.

"So please welcome...Principal Starlight Glimmer."As soon as the Mayor announced the name the doors to Town Hall opened, letting inside the Pony who would replace Cheerilee. Everypony turned around and looked at the light heliotrope unicorn with moderate purple mane walked through the crowd and up to the podium where Mayor Mare was making the announcement.

Once up on stage, Starlight used her magic to levitate the microphone towards her. "All right, listen up. My name is Starlight Glimmer and I'm the new Principal." She introduced herself cordial enough, but what she said next threw everypony in attendance out of the loop. "I don't know about you, but frankly I'm sick and tired of how minority groups are marginalized in today's society."

Minority groups? Marginalized? What was this new Principal talking about?

"I'm here because this place is lost in a time warp!" Starlight said angrily, she had some sort of issue with the whole town. And before anyone could ask what those issue were, Starlight was kind enough to let them know. "Students who still use the word 'lame' to refer to things they don't like. A curriculum that has days dedicated to the study and importance of Cutie Marks!"

"What's so wrong about that?" Was the thought many parents had regarding with the new principal's issue.

"A 'Ungulate Individual' who the foals had speaking in rhymes, and who the adults spread rumors and songs about that 'U.I.' being an 'Evil Enchantress'."

"That was before we knew Zecora wasn't evil!" An orange Pegasus with purple mane called out in defense of the town.

"And that's two days' detention for you, young filly! We'll see you at 4!" Starlight declared unfazed and ignoring the Pegasus' claims.

"What?"

"Let me ask you this. We're in a town with large amount of farms, right?! Where are the Calf students?! Huh?! Where are the ethnic and racial minorities?! Why aren't they allowed to live in the town?!"

"Actually, it's because Cows…" Mayor Mare wanted to explain the situation but was quickly silenced by Principal Starlight.

"And that's two days' detention for you, Ms. Mare! Congratulations!"

"Wha…? I got detention?" How was that even possible? And did Starlight even had the authority to do such a thing?

"I did some research about Ponyville before coming here, and I cannot believe the manure you're getting away with!" Starlight continued on with her rant. "Ponies claiming to be advocates of friendship, while at the same time calling Mules stubborn and ugly!"

Unnoticed by many, but a white unicorn filly blushed embarrassed, remembering her older sister being guilty of that claim.

"Calling a Pegasus with a physical condition with an Ableist name and reducing her personality around a silly catchphrase!"

"M-Muffins…?" A light grey Pegasus with blonde mane and unfocused eyes asked out-loud confused by Starlight's outbursts.

"What the hay is this?! Are you bucking kidding me?! I'm telling you all, this is done! Like it or not, I'm here and I'm bringing PC back, and it's bigger than ever! Woowoowoo! You hear that?! That's the sound of the year 1005 pulling you over, ponies! Now suck it!"

Having finished Starlight stopped her magic dropping the microphone unto the floor and with that she was out of that place with a flashy teleport. Leaving an entire audience wondering just what the hay happened.

* * *

 

It was the first day of school since Starlight Glimmer was appointed Principal of the Ponyville School House, and by now stories about her new and progressive way of managing the school were already rampant. Not to mention that Starlight had passed down the task of teaching to another pony she brought with her, in favor of been solely in charge of the administration.

"What do you girls think of our new teacher?" Scootaloo asked her fellow crusaders as they made their way back inside the school house after recess.

"Ms. Sugar Belle? I like her, although not as much as I liked Ms. Cheerilee." Sweetie Belle confessed.

"Yeah, you're right." Scootaloo agreed happy to hear she wasn't the only one. Ms. Belle was nice enough despite her apparent nervousness and somewhat tired looks, but nopony could ever take the place Ms. Cheerilee occupied on the hearts of all the fillies and colts she taught. "I guess things are going to be different around here."

"You know what? I think change is good." Applebloom confessed out-loud. "And before you girls say anything, I DO miss Cheerilee a lot. But let's face it: this is long overdue."

Before she could continue to elaborate what she meant by that, Featherweight came flying towards them calling their group's name.

"Crusaders! Did you guys hear? Diamond Tiara got five days' suspension, for calling Carrot Crunch 'Buck Teeth Hayseed'!"

"Really?" Scootaloo asked honestly surprised by the news. Diamond Tiara always got away with stuff like this before.

"But the thing is, Tiara isn't even arguing back. It's like she's all sad and scared." Featherweight informed them of the out-of-character way the usual bully was acting.

"Good! She should be sad and scared!" Applebloom said glad for the action been taken. "She shouldn't get away with just a slap on the back of her hoof for insulting somepony. I already feel better to be at a school where bullying isn't going to be tolerated and we can start enjoying school without fear of being Tiara's next target."

"C-could Applebloom report to the Principal's office." Came the voice of Sugar Belle from the P.A system that was installed the day Starlight took office. Applebloom gave a questioning look to her driends silently asking if anyone had any idea why she was been summoned to the Principal's office. When nopony said anything, the youngest of the Apple Family walked slowly towards the school house.

* * *

 

Sometime later Big Macintosh or as friends and family called him, Big Mac, arrived at school and was shown towards the Principal's Office because he had been summoned here by a letter that stated a problem had occurred involving his little sister Applebloom.

Now as a responsible big brother Mac was initially worried something bad happened to Applebloom, like getting hurt or something, but when he arrived at the school house the new teacher, Sugar Belle, calmed his worries and told him that the reason was instead because of something Applebloom had done.

Big Mac had no idea what Applebloom could possible had done to warrant this, she had always been such a nice filly. He only hoped this was all a misunderstanding. Now the only thing to do was to knock on the office's door and opened it to enter.

"Hi, I'm Big Macintosh, Applebloom's brother." He introduced himself as he took a seat next to his sister. It would do him no good to remain too quiet during this meeting if he wanted to solve whatever issue was this.

"Thank you for coming Mr. Macintosh."Starlight said with a nod seating behind a very large and imposing looking desk. "I've been talking with Applebloom, and we're gonna be giving her two weeks of detention."

"Two weeks…?" Bic Mac repeated quite shocked. Whatever it was that Appleboom has been accused of must've been big. "What's this about? The letter calling me here didn't mention it."

"Applebloom said some things to fellow student that frankly make me wanna puke!" Starlight said without reservations, showing how angry she was. "Now that I'm principal, I'm not gonna allow anyone at this school to be made feel unsafe and harassed!" She then pounded her hoof atop her desk to show that she was serious about it.

"Wh-wh-what did she say?" Now Big Mac was getting worried. This all sounded very troubling.

"You'll have to excuse my language." Starlight began as she took a piece of paper and cleared her throat. "I don't think Tofee is a hero." Now that caught Big Mac off guard. After all the build-up he had been expecting a cuss word. Just what was so wrong with that sentence?

But unlike Big Mac whose expression was of perplexity, Starlight Glimmer looked like she was about to erupt.

"This kind of transphobic and bigoted hate speech isn't allowed at this school!" She pounded the desk once more and stood up from her seat. "Well I thought we were all on board that Tofee is an amazing, beautiful mare who had the exquisite bravery of a breezie flying against the wind. And then this manure comes out of ponies' mouths!"

Clearly, Starlight was beyond pissed about this so if they were to reach an agreement by discussing thing like adults, Big Mac had to calm down the hysteric mare.

"Principal Starlight, I'm sure Applebloom didn't meant to offend or even imply something against Caramel's decision, and instead she was talking about…"

"You got a buckin' problem?!" Starlight interrupted even more livid.

"No…"

'Cause it's not buckin' Caramel! It's Tofee, and she's a buckin' stunning mare!" Starlight shouted looking possessed, almost ready to pounce like a timberwolf does to a pony. "Or maybe you're the one teaching him to demean mares in the first place! HUH?! Is that so?! IS THAT SO?!"

Now both Applebloom and Big Mac were spooked beyond belief.

"Look, maybe we can all just ta-"

"Get the BUCK out of here!" Starlight then flipped the immense desk out, sending all sort of papers flying all over. Not to mention sending both Apple ponies running out of the office as if their lives depended on it.

* * *

At a local establishment, a group of Mares were discussing amongst themselves about what else but the Principal of the School House.

"I mean, who the hay does this mare think she is? Some filly straight outta college is gonna come in and tell us our ways are wrong?" Rainbow Dash complained as she put down her jug of beer on the table. Today had been a stressful enough to warrant something with more kick than cider.

"Indeed." Rarity wholeheartedly agreed after taking a sip of her Lope Island Ice Tea, "It is a form of thuggery! Unacceptable against those poor fillies and colts."

"I hear ya! Appleboom's already got two weeks detention." Applejack was very indignant.

"Huh for what?!" Berry Punch asked. She had joined them because she never needed an excuse for some booze.

"Just 'cause she said something about Toffee." Applejack explained only for the table to suddenly go very quiet.

"Oh, Toffee. She's a hero. She is stunning and brave." Berry said sounding a lot more sober.

"Stunning. She is absolutely beautiful, and an inspiration." Rarity nodded in agreement, sounding almost scared.

"Yup, that's right." Rainbow also joined in, adverting her eyes to the side.

"Well what the hell were you girls talki-" Applejack wanted to know why the others were acting strange, but Rarity quickly stepped in.

"We've gotta be careful, darling. This is a college bar." She tried to warn, but it seemed that it came a little too late.

"Somebody here have a problem with Toffee?" A white earth pony stallion with a equal sign ( = ) for a cutie mark approached their table.

"No." Rarity tried to dissuade him to leave them alone and not start a scene.

"No? 'Cause she's a stunning, beautiful mare, and if you wanna call her anything else I'm ready to buckin' throw down!"

"No no, we're totally fine with it." Berry said trying to help, but apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

"Woowoowoowoowoo!" A dark Pegasus mare with white mane approached them wooing like a police siren. "It? Did somebody just refer to Toffee as "it"? I'm a PC Equalist, buck-o. I'll throw down!" She also had an equal sign cutie mark.

"Sweet. You're PC too?" The White stallion asked to the newly arrived Pegasus mare.

"Yeah, I'm PC Night Glider."

"Sweet. I'm PC Double Diamond."

"Heck yeah! Sweet, dude!" Night Glider raised her hoof for a hoof bump.

"Sweet!" DD returned her the hoof bump before turning back to the sitting mares. "So, do we have a buckin' problem here?"

"No! Toffee is the bravest Equestrian in the whole world." Rarity tried to salvage the situation, but apparently she also committed a micro-aggression.

"Woo-oowoo-oowoo-oo!" Another Stallion walked up to their table, he was light blue and he also had an equal sign cutie mark. "Did someone here just say "Equestrian" in a way that "otherwise" and demeans other "Ungulate Individuals" and species?!"

"Nice, dude. You PC?" Night Glider asked the new arrival.

"Yeah, I'm Party Favor." He introduced himself to his fellow PC equalist before looking back to the seated mares. "You think Diamond Dogs and Griffons aren't Equestrian?!"

"Hey! What seems to be the problem here, ladies and gentleponies?!" said none other than Principal Starlight Glimmer who also came to the table after noticing the commotion.

"Who the hey are you?!" Night Glider demanded.

"I'm PC Principal Starlight Glimmer!"

"Oh nice. We're all PC too." Double Diamond said.

"No way! There's more PC ponies here?" Starlight asked looking around and saw that many other hooves were raised answering her question. "I had no idea there were like-minded individuals in this town that defended social minorities. We should all hang out."

"We should totally hang out."

"We should all get a house together and unite our tolerant views."

"Yeah! Let's do it, dude!"

As the PC ponies started shouting their plans for a PC Fraternity. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Berry Punch slowly made their way out of that place.

* * *

 

Back in Canterlot, Princess Celestia was reading a request awaiting her approval for the financing and construction of a "PC fraternity". The sun Princess couldn't help but sigh in defeat.

"What's wrong dear sister?" Luna the Princess of the Night, looked worriedly towards her elder sister.

"Well, looks like things are becoming PC again." Celestia answered already dreading the comeback of the ideology. "You weren't here when PC got popular the first time, but it was a terrible time in our history.

"Well how long do you think this will last?" Luna asked troubled. If her sister looked this bad by only thinking about it, then they were surely dark times.

"Lasted about six years last time." Not a long time considering their were immortal alicorns, but the felt like an eternity for the Sun Princess."We got at least…5.9 years to go."

 

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been going on my mind for a while, so I'll just wrote it to get it out of my system. Now, I feel like I shouldn't point out that this is obviously a retold story from South Parks Season 19 episode 01: Stunning and Brave.


End file.
